Me? A Housewife?

So I have recently realized how far I have actually come as a mom and wife! I mean this time last year I was pregnant, Dustin and I were not even living together. I still needed my mom more then anyone in the world, and I didn't really do much with my life.

Now Dustin and I are married. and I have become the person that I never thought I could be. The thought of being a stay at home house wife was so...scary! But now I look at myself and I do everything now that used to scare me lol like making meals for my family, keeping the house spic n span, Doing laundry regularly, and the rest of the little things that moms do. And now that I am doing it without even thinking (and its definitely not scary anymore lol) I find that I am actually very proud of myself.

Not only that...Since I have gotten my life under control and am very happy with everything...I find myself getting more and more excited every day for the fact that I am welcoming a new little munchkin into my family soon. The thought of having another little baby is getting less and less scary!

So Nothing New..

Nothing new really to update on, except that I had a prenatal appointment yesterday. Everything is going really well and the baby seems to be doing great! Which is awesome news :) Now I have to go to the Doctor every 2 weeks, which means...It's getting close! Can't wait!

I just have to remember...

Dustin came home for a few minutes to shower and what not before his long drive. I was worried about him because he was an hour late coming home. I was worried that when he did get home that he would be upset at there being no food. I was worried that he would be grumpy because of the fact that he has to drive all night...I think Dustin is right...I worry too much!!

He wasn't upset at all when he came home. When he did finally get home he hugged me and even though he hates the way he smells when he comes home from work (like dirt and oil lol) when he hugs me and holds me after he walks through the door I just take it all in.

I am so lucky to have him in my life... he makes me feel so complete. People are so surprised when they actually realize that a girl my age can actually be in love. But it's more then that. To me...love is a feeling, and emotion...What I have with Dustin is more then that. It feels like he is half of me. If I were to lose him, I would lose have of who I am. Of course I have the feelings of love for him, but I also have everything else that I felt like I was missing before him.

I think that when people have the idea of "Love" In their head, It's completely wrong. Or I guess "wrong" is a bad way of putting it...I guess what I mean is, they don't get the whole picture. That's why so many people end up heart broken... I can honestly say that Dustin and I will grow old together. I could never imagine myself being with anyone else. Period.

A New Respect for my Mom...

like a soft silk blanket,

your love is there.

Covering me with gentleness and warmth.

As a mother you want to protect,

steal the hurt,

and mask the world for what it really is.

No one can be perfect,

but the Love, care, and intentions,

of a Mother is.

The bond can never be broken,

Thoughts can never fade.

You can feel the love from miles away.

I love you Mom,

I will always and forever,

be your baby girl

I wrote this for my mom, after one evening I was thinking about my own baby girl and how hard it will be for me when she actually has to face the big bad world. I guess I never really thought about how hard it must have been, and still is, for my mom to watch me struggle though life's hardships and not be able to take the pain and frustration away.

So Frustrating sometimes :(

Ugh...

Kinda mad right now.

How come my little family is expected to be so good and helpful...but no one has to be good and helpful back? I'm so tired of people! It's safe to say that I am NOT a people person at all.

I don't get to see Dustin today. After work he has to drive all the way to Fort Mac to pick up his brother and his Girlfriend and baby. It's a long ass drive so he won't be back till probably around 5am. Of course no one asked him to do this till last night!

I was supposed to go grocery shopping twice already. Dustin is going to be upset when he comes home and there is no food. But I have no one to help me right now. I Don't have a vehicle. Just Me, Mercedes, and her stroller... how am I supposed to walk across town to get a bunch of groceries and walk all the way back? UGH!! Whatever.

Feels great to be me!

It's nine in the morning, Mini Chica and I had breakfast, and now we are watching backyardigans (yet again) lol. I got a full nights sleep last night! Yay me :) lol and every time I woke up, there was Dustin, Laying right next to me. Thats one of the many beautiful things about my life!

Another thing I am very grateful for is Mercedes. She is such a good baby. She is so happy all the time. I mean, she has her moments, but what kid doesn't? lol She is always smiling, and talking. My little Sunshine Girl!

Next I am grateful for family and friends, and the friends who are more like family! I love those certain people that you can almost always depend on :)

I love how simple and comfortable my life is at the moment. I love the excitement that comes along with having a baby. I love the kicks and punches I get to remind me that there is a little human being growing inside my tummy. I love when 6:30 pm comes around and Dustin walks through the door. Mainly I love how there is so many things to be grateful for!

Uh Again!

3rd night in a row! I can't sleep. I am seriously lacking sleep! I wish this wasn't so hard...I am going to visit my family for a couple days. It should be fun, except for that fact that I am so tired. And it's not like I can sleep whenever I want With a lively baby girl on the go all the time lol. My family is more then willing to help me out, you know babysitting and what not. But she is so attached to me, and not used to them. She is very nervous around people she doesn't see all the time. I couldn't even get proper rest knowing how uncomfortable she would be. Although she is used to Dustin's family, I still don't get proper rest unless they take her to there place without me because when I'm around she always wants to be with me.

I mean... don't get me wrong, I love being her number one and all, but it's gonna be really hard once this baby is born...Bah! So much on my mind :( I feel like I want to go shopping to relieve my stress! I haven't been shopping in forever! Never have enough money. But oh well. Dreaming about a future where shopping is a possible stress reliever is a relaxing thought :) lol.

Sandman?? you forgot me...:(

Dealing with not being able to sleep all night is a big problem for me in this pregnancy. I never had that problem when I was pregnant with Mercedes.

So it is after 2am and I have been up since 11:30. Although I did get some sleep since Dustin and I went to bed around 8:30.

I spent about 2 hours reading, took a bath, and now browsing the internet. I looked up different symptoms of pregnancy and holy man! It's like as soon as a woman gets pregnant she turns into an alien or something. It's mainly hormones. Who knew one little "H" word could cause a woman sooo much problems! Gosh.

Well at least the reward is a fantastic one. I can't wait to hold this little one in my arms. We are really hoping it's a boy. Although a girl would be nice to... But it looks like we won't know till the little one arrives! I am completely ok with that though...I love surprises!!

Accomplishments and Goals

The past couple years have been quite the dramatic ones! The year before last I started dating this wonderful guy who is now my husband. The next year, I Graduated High school and shortly after gave birth to a beautiful little Girl. I Got married to the man of my dreams a few months later.

At the beginning of this year Dustin and I found out we were pregnant, again. Shortly after Dustin went in for Major surgery causing him to be in the hospital for two months. Those were the scariest two months of my life, while my husband fought for his life in the hospital.

Now we are living happily in our two bedroom apartment, Dustin is healing up great, and Mercedes is a happy, healthy, bouncing, 9 month old baby girl.

Dustin was finally able to start working again, making our life tons easier and him a lot happier.

Now Our goals:

• Finish event planning course
• Move into a bigger place
• Give birth to another happy and healthy baby
• Start a successful and thriving business
• Also to get a really good camera, to maybe make money on the side with my Photography!

All before I turn 18 in December!

Mercedes makes my world go round!

Today Mercedes was doing the CUTEST thing! (isn't she always?? lol!!) But today I look over and she is holding her penguin toy up to her ear and trying to talk into it like it was a phone! And the cutest part is how determined she is to get connected to the other line! This video makes me smile even when I am down in the lowest mood. My Baby girl is just growing so fast...:')

Getting Excited!

Well I have recently found out that you cannot depend on anyone but yourself! So what if everything is a little harder to get done with no help...Dustin and I are so positive that we can achieve everything we are hoping! All though help is always appreciated, we just have learned the hard way too many times depending on other people.

I should be able to send away for my course next week! We are officially not behind on rent anymore lol we are actually paid ahead! It feels really good to be taking charge of our lives and accomplishing so much! Oh and Dustin and I are finally able to get our cell phones that we have been waiting forever to get! YEP FEELS GREAT!!

The ever growing baby in my tummy also has me excited for our future! Everything is much more positive now, especially since Dustin's surgery. I am not so scared now....I used to get so scared thinking about the days to come. But now I feel more hope! I think that I am definitely one of the worlds luckiest people!